7 days...

I am pretty sure if I wanted to I could get into the Guiness Book of Records for longest time crying.  I am also pretty sure that is the way alot of people feel when a diagnosis like this comes.  I am actually doing really well, don't get me wrong, it doesn't take much to get me goin.  I find myself thinking about little things I am thankful for everyday, this I feel is good.  "I am gonna miss you", that is what I said to Neil earlier today while we were grocery shopping, he asked "why".  In 7 days Neil starts 9 weeks of chemo, followed by 7 weeks of chemo/radiation combo, he is not going to be my husband during this time.  I will be Mommy and Daddy while he helps his body help the drugs that are going to get rid of this disease.  Friends say it affects everyone differently, but instead of being my optimistic self, I will be what Neil calls "realistic".  I am scared, this is going to be the most difficult thing I have ever been through all while being a strong wife and mother per Neil's request.  I am gonna miss him being him, it's that simple.  We are spending these 7 days prepping ourselves, the kids, the house, and anything and anyone else that may be affected.  Gracie understands as much as a 5 year old can.  Brent being 14 is a little bit more tricky, it's hard to guage true feelings with his age, he seems upset, but not willing to go in depth and I will not push it.   Tomorrow is picture day for Grace, she already has her outfit picked out, and I am betting she will want Daddy to fix her hair....thats right....she is such a Daddy's girl!