hard reading...

I love to read anything from the great classics to modern "vampire" fiction, lol,  but my reading as of lately has become very heavy.  Neil and I are both consumed with trying to pour as much information about SCC(sqaumous cell carcinoma) into our brains as we possibly can.  It's only been 6 weeks and you could ask us any question about it and get a pretty good educated answer or guess. 

Neil and I met over the internet, geesh, like 12 years ago!  I can tell you that I have never wanted another human being around me as much as I have wanted him.  All of our family and friends know that we had a tough road as a couple, I lived in Tennessee and he lived in Canada...not the best geographical way to have a relationship, BUT....WE MADE IT!  We got married, did the immigration thing, and here we are living in Georgia, yes the U.S. much to his dismay.  He misses his Canada, but more than that he misses his family.
No doubt how much he truly loves me and our children.

It is so ironic that the whole month we spent learning of Neil's SCC, Gracies school was taking up money for her school's Relay for Life event.  She came running to us the other morning saying, "I need cancer money for school", me and Neil just kind of chuckled about it he went straight to the change box.  We have been telling Grace little tid bits here and there about what is going on with Daddy and what she may see in the coming months, it's very hard for her to comprehend.  I have never just came out and told her that Daddy has cancer, I just didn't think she would be able to wrap her 5yr old lil mind around it, I mean lets be  honest, it's been hard for me!  Thursday morning she took me by surprise while she was getting dressed for school, out of the blue she gave Neil a big hug and said "I am sorry you have cancer".  Naturally I was surprised by this, but Neil informed me that he and Grace had a very good discussion on the subject.  My eyes still tear up when I think about it, but you know what, I am so proud of them both and the fact that he had his own private conversation with Grace is just another reason why I love him so much. 

This our last weekend before treatment and it is going to be emotional for me, yes, I am a huge cry baby!  I keep my crying times private to the household.  A friend from work told me to pick a place and make that my spot, my spot to let it all out and cry, scream, cuss, do whatever makes me feel better and that is what I have done!  Awwww, just listen to me, don't get me wrong, all of us here love to laugh, so I can guarantee way more laughter than tears over the coming months.